How to build your self-confidence

The horse represents the most masterful form of earth energy. It provides us with the momentum so reliable, so supportive you can ride on its back toward any goal, no matter how difficult the terrain. Physical stamina and mental focus are the secret weapons behind the horse’s legacy. Horses have taught me to have confidence within myself, I can do anything I set my mind too with patience and practice. I have spent the last year two years riding equestrian and there is no room for second guesses. I grew up riding horses until life got in the way and I stopped for 15 years which has been one of my biggest regrets. It has been a learning curve for me to feel confident riding, without allowing myself to get in the way of my own thoughts. The key for me is being my own cheerleader, telling myself I got this and faking it until you make it doesn’t hurt either.

Trying to train a 1500 lb animal to listen to me at first it felt like the hardest thing for me to overcome. There was one day my trainer saw my struggle and stood in front of me and said, “think of yourself as a superhero, who would you be, if you can decide to be anyone right now?” The first thing that came out of my mouth was Beyonce! It was a hilarious moment, she handed me the reins and told me “ok Beyonce take her to the barn.” From that day forward I stopped getting in my own way of fear, I didn’t allow the horse to train me, I started training her and she followed. It was as simple as me standing taller and taking the reins with assurance.

The mindset I have now versus a year ago is completely different, the place I was in my life when I started riding was low self-esteem, failing at relationships and certain people laughing at me for trying to ride horses in my 30’s, not understanding who I was as a person. It didn’t take long for me to get those people out of my life when my trainer asked me to be a superhero, that was a freeing feeling on many levels. To others, it may look easy to get back on, but for me, it was everything I had been searching for. I believe in the right timing in life, and meeting Bella (horse) was exactly what I needed at that moment and I stopped living a life of expectation from others and just went for it. Believing you have the ability to do anything you set your mind too and trusting no matter what path you end up on is the right one at that moment. And if you get thrown in the wrong direction, get back on the right one. When in balance I never give up and know I can achieve anything, when out of balance I second guess myself and give up too easily. Animals have an incredible way of looking into you when you least expect it, they communicate in a different way that you have to be ready to pay attention too. Find your happy place and if you need the strength to build confidence sometimes it is where you least expect it.


I have put together a list of helpful tips on how to build your self-confidence to expand yourself and reset your mindset.


    • Who is your superhero? Everyone has one, you may not realize it but there is someone you admire that can give you the strength. It can be one of your friends, family, boss, or even Beyoncé. When you tell yourself you can do something, you would be surprised how quickly you change your mindset. If there are people in your life telling you can’t do something, shock them and do it. What is the worst that can happen, you fail and then you try it again?
    • Set goals and achieve them. Write down a list of your interests, hobbies, desires to achieve in the next 6 months.  What are you seeking to experience in your life, because whatever it is just remember it is never too late to begin? It is only you get in the way of yourself that stops you from doing something, nobody else. If your list is long, start with the top three you can achieve in a short amount of time, if money is a factor do something that doesn’t cost you money, but it excites you.
    • Volunteer. When you do for others you do for yourself. When you are in a drowning feeling of feeling sorry for yourself, there is always a great reminder that there is a world of people that need you and you do not have it as bad as someone else might. It expands your mind to another perspective you may not see as clearly and grounds you as a human being to be grateful for your life.
    • Connecting with people. Joining a group that aligns with your interests, or maybe a group of people that you aspire to be like that you can learn from, learning from other people is an incredible experience. Finding a local event that sparks your creativity, if you have always wanted to start your own business but you are hitting a roadblock you can find free events to start the process. There are great resources out there to join meetup groups, you would be surprised how willing people are to help you achieve your goals.
    • Self-Care- Do it for you. Groom yourself, get a haircut, go to the spa, take a bubble bath, get your nails done, take a walk, buy yourself flowers, exercise, dress up just because. When you feel your best you act your best, own it!
    • Be Kind. Be kind to yourself, spend time with yourself and enjoy it. Knowing your worth, what you have to offer yourself and why you are unique is important to understand everyone is different. Also, it is very important to be kind to others, treat others how you want to be treated is a motto to live by.
    • Smile. Smiling is the best medicine to feel good inside when you are happy you can turn your entire day around. I have spent a lot of time discovering what makes me happy and letting go of the things that do not. When you continue to bring joy to your life and smile from within, others will smile back. Life has a way of showing up when you are lighter as a person, it is as easy as it sounds. Have you heard of the saying “Awesome things will happen today if you choose not to be a miserable cow?” Write it down and post it up on your mirror or your desk at work and it will make you laugh every time.
    • Think Positive. Replacing your negative thoughts with positive affirmations goes a long way, you can’t expect others to see you in a positive light if you do not see yourself this way. Life is going to throw curve balls all the time to make sure you are paying attention, don’t get stuck in the poor me syndrome that oftentimes stops you from achieving your dreams. We all are unique in our own way, find what is unique about yourself and celebrate it.
    • Grateful. Being grateful for your life, the experiences you have that have allowed you to be who you are. Not everyone has lived an easy life, but there is something that gets you up every morning you can be grateful for. Write down three things you are grateful for every single morning and before you go to bed read it again to remind yourself of this beautiful life you live each day.




Article written by Chantelle Miller. Chantelle’s mission is to help others cultivate balance in unconventional ways to be at their highest vibration. Follow her on social media Cultivating Balance 

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