I feel the wounds in your heart from every time someone pulled on your reins.
“You can’t do this.
Don’t be like that.
You’re too much. Too loud. Stop!”
I see the way you’ve been taught to abandon yourself
Because every time you were praised for “being good,”
You learned that you had to be what others wanted in order to be loved.
Overtime, you built a shell.
Terrified of being judged for fear that everyone will leave.
You’ve made yourself smaller,
Believing that others’ comfort has a higher value than your own.
That to be in your fullest expression is more than most can handle
And being seen means being left behind.
I know the weight that you carry.
I know what it’s like to be in solitary confinement in your own body.
To want more than anything to be embraced with love
But hold everyone at arm’s length out of fear of not receiving it.
To feel like your well-being is at the mercy of everyone else’s opinion
And not knowing how to let go.
But oh my love, I wish you could see yourself the way that I do.
How you are worth wildfire love and the kind of worship that is reserved for saints and sunlight.
Because you might be afraid to express yourself fully,
Yet it could make the dead dance back to life, just to get a taste of you.
You are a mustang wrapped in the depth of the ocean;
Wild, uncontained, joy embodied.
Your presence alone is enough to make us all quake.
Your essence is what poets speak of when they write about divinity
And God is just another name for the energy that you hold.
When you come alive, so does this Earth
And the bees sing in celebration for something so beautiful.
In your stillness, in your storm
In your laughter, in your pain
In your sensuality, in your silliness
You make the world turn.
I see you coming home to yourself and learning how to put your feelings first,
How to accept the love that exists for you in just being who you came here to be,
How to speak in your full power for what you know you deserve,
And remembering that anyone who runs when you set yourself loose
Was never meant to be in your life anyway.
So even when your body shakes and you want nothing more than to hide
I hope you will choose every time to shine through the fear
Because you are teaching us all how to set ourselves free.
So I will hold your hand as you learn how to walk with yourself
And I will whisper in your ear,
“I’m still learning, too.”
Los Angeles-based singer/songwriter Katie Buxton is unapologetically living by this powerful mantra ‘If it’s not honest, raw, real…I don’t want it.’ She uses the power of words to show that vulnerability is our greatest strength. Follow her journey on Social media: Instagram, Twitter, Facebook